Have you came across someone who lacks communication skill in public in his workplace after years of working, but is an expert in typing behind the screen? Its quite amazing there's these kinda peeps around. Coupled with an average looking face, he's able to attract all sorts of species and flirt endlessly in the online domain, regardless of status for these females..
Despite that, by hiding within a geographical location away from the mass population residing in a particular interactive community, he believes he could never be caught, always under the protection of his cash loaded parents. He believes he's always right and the others are always wrong. When coming into an argument, he would confuse the whole world and wriggle out of it by hacking whatever comes his way. He never gives in, be it to his parents, to his relationship, to his friendship or to anyone other than his boss :) He's suffering from depression as stated, an illness that immunes his rational ability to think at times of instability.
On a side note, he has no friends, offline none.. online he managed to catch a few friends whom he deemed as close friends due to knowledge of knowing each other in the past, few years back. Acquintances u might call it, residing in the online world, online games, drowning in endless depths of loneliness, yet unable to admit he's lonely, leading a terrible life and an autocratic keyboard warrior when the need arises.
With regards to his looks, he believes he's good looking, which is a positive factor i must say. And i would be the first to admit he is pleasant looking but while coming into combination with the rest of the factors, tell me..
If you're a female or if u're already one, would you accept such an emotionally unstable autocratic male as your bf?
:)
its totally evident. a silent note with a judgement passed. a rash decision i would say, abeit showing the lack of composure, patience and perhaps the worst of all, the ability to handle stress. well since the judgement is passed by the other party, i'll take it on my chin. some peeps simply don't have the courage to face up to comments drawn towards them by another, yet asking for it in the first place.
i guess that's the weakness of humans.. and perhaps the strength of humans is the ability to extract what u have and determine what u need and execute the actions on another, backstage... recently a buddy whom i used to regard as one, simply drifted away blatantly. too obvious to be true... found out the exact reason and another companying reason why. amazing to see the fact that peeps would do sucha stunt to gain what they need to, and this shows how weak you are, being alone shows your weakness, your non independance and u need peeps to rally behind your hypocritical attitude that clearly outweighs your attractive self. or at least that's what i found out.
couple of bad stuffs that just coincide together i suppose.. judgement of someone upon you least for these incidents usually occur without proper communication towards each other, all the hearsays in the grapevine that determines your thoughts.. oh well those simply fall straight into the category of 'swaying with the wind' and perhaps gather more accomplice and sway together, enjoying the temporary goodness together..
nonetheless, thanks for being there once and i hope u honour your words as promises to the events that transpired , half a yr ago, my friend L.
peace out
gene
some quick uploads on the stuffs i bought :).JPG)
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Nothing biggie i suppose to most...
My first time in several months now :) little things indeed cheer up my day..
Forget it.. I have sent an SMS to that person in relation and hopefully he change for the better, not for me but for himself..
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Quite some stuffs happened recently... Esp with the outings that i'm organising and of course my personal life...
Personal life has been evolving and i'm glad to know more new peeps as part of my social circle, some closer than others, and probably some much easier to talk to, regardless of genders.. I fully appreciate the fact that these peeps came into my life and i hope a mutual understanding can be established slowly but steadily..
Something happened yesterday in lecture that made me rethink how insensitive someone can be, be it on purpose or ignorance.. And made me felt like a complete idiot. Prob for now as i try to gain my 4 first class or 2 second upper to attain first class or second upper automatically. Cant imagine politics is dragged all the way to lecture.. And seriously i don't really buy that joke! zzz.
But nvm! Look forward and stuffs will all fall into place.. Esp tomorrow, last lesson for the day, my organised event on sat and realrun on sunday!
To add onto a personal touch, quite some peeps came into my life recently and i hope to know all of you better, of course... as friends or anything more than that. Heard some rumours with regards to some stuffs which happened offline, dragging online details now. Simply childish is what i would say.
A quick entry, back to work.
Anyway met up with m at golden mile there straight, was glad she made her way here without getting lost or u know, the thai workers might ..... nvm touch wood. Anyway we went straight to nom our food..
At first din order the pork chop.. End up order too much cannot finish :spin: And end up $24.50 per person.. We ate steamboat + prawns + pork chop + 10 satay. Quite alot for 2 ultra skinny peeps.. Then after that she drag me to army market to see fbt. So shy, and i was so shocked when she start asking e shops 'eh do u all have fbts?' Wa i was like :s22: then i just head low low walk past all then tell her think no need ba i go back test my navy 1 first...
So off we went on her bus back to tamp.. The route seemed awfully familiar upon reaching her area.. Sigh. But least there was lotsa stuffs we shared on the bus, and shared with her a lil bit about what happened to me in e past couple of mths.. Thanks for listening and commenting! Hmmm, so reach her place liao she waited my bus with me and off she went.. Thanks m!
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Reached home, tested my 'navy fbt', only 2 peeps have the pictures hah. Was so shy but i would say from front it looks ok.. But from the sides it looked as if i'm malnutrition-ed :mad: very very sad.. But nvm will try to see if there's those without the silt to see more of the thigh 1... Its quite cooling though like nothing underneath despite the protective area.. But when stretch though still can zhao geng 1 :s
Always wanted to get a new pair of shorts after this nike one doesn't seemed to dry up fast.. Which is bad, cos i would always pour water on me..
Met up with friend on e way to work, she bought me my pack of glucosesemine whatever u spell it.. And i'll have them on thurs. $49.20 for 60 tablets equalling to $1 per pill. Actually not bad i suppose, not that i'm experiencing pain but i just want to last longer into the future and not uplorried in every full marathon thus far as i aim to run nonstop :):)
peace out
gene
Went for the long awaited Fullerton Dim Sum Buffet on sun, and i would say food quality wise is good, nothing more than that.. Pics available on facebook.. Variety aplenty but imo still not worth $33 which i paid for :) After that they went to play lan, i just simply tag along and laugh my head off when playing L4D for the second time @ lan ! haha quite fun though i would say... Feel like playing it at home liao :o Maybe download the new maps and play hehe. Quite fun, realised i was few years younger when i was with them.. Met newbiesad, an ex XE player whom i knew when i was coaching them for WCG. Exchanged numbers and he's still the same, lotsa craps. Chit chat till he din realised there's tons of peeps at the counter hhaa!!
Went arcade with them, saw this new game, need to buy cards 1 then put there and play soccer, quite cool though u have to spend $$ on cards to get e best players first though...
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Was thinking about several stuffs after lunch.. Some peeps kinda asked questions based on several agendas.. There's smarter ones and of course there's stupider ones.. To me its very simple, if you wish to probe, then ask the parties straight off. If you don't wish to be involved then don't. Don't force yourself to do things you know peeps will hate you for it. Being ultrasensitive doesn't help! One should open their circle up and not always retain that few friends that you have.. And feel bored and disappointed when they cant make it, just for you. No one lives for anybody, everybody deserves their own way of lifestyle, mindset despite being attached or single. And yes singles doesn't mean they have more time for you, so don't be selfish!
Was pondering about several issues as well.. Hmmm, i felt very lucky myself to be able to do good deeds such as organising outings, being there for peeps when they need someone to talk to.. If they don't wish to talk then its fine just leave them alone.. I'm happy to also see thru lotsa characters in real life.. Some appeared so confident behind their phones and coms, but once they see u face to face, their balls shrink, literally.. Ok not literally prob i got no idea.. I used to be like this though.. But i build up my confidence.. I recall a friend telling me this..
If you're pretty, you'll look the same as everybody 20 yrs down the road. If you're confident, you'll look similar to none 20 yrs down the road
Food for thought. Be confident!
Hmmm i'm thinking of a sporty short, that's short enough prolly v shaped at the sides, and have to dry fast as in evaporate during my runs.. Can anyone suggest a few to me? As long its not way too short its fine.. And those who seen my legs before, can u tell me if i look ok in fbts? i'm not talking about bed games, i'm talking about running. tyvm :)
peace out
gene
Its true that from texts, you cant express emotions.. Or prob you can, but its nothing compared to offline. Thus peeps tend to type and type and type but when they are outside, their heads goes as low as their dickheads.. It's common and i have seen it all too often.. I have always been organizing outings and encouraging peeps to communicate to each other despite genders.. However its upsetting to see how some peeps come to my outing and pretend to speak to every female gender at every other chance.. Its just.. =/ If i would pin down a word to it, desperate.
Was telling someone yesterday, lets call her zrt.. Told her you have to love yourself first before others could love you. A simple sentence yea? Still water runs deep. I believe that sentence is comprehensive and deserve no expansion of any equations in relation to it..
S has been part of my life recently and i'm glad to share almost all aspects of life with her. Our views towards the world and how our individual personality and habits could impact on us and others. Its good understanding peeps and i always seek to do that.. Understanding brings you a long way. Least to me. Thanks S.
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How do you handle breakups? I am the first to admit i was whining around when V left me. And now thinking back, it made me look like an entire idiot and impacting some peeps whom i seek advice to, if i were them i would have found the other party (which is myself) a total disaster and complete irrational being.
Thinking back if i have been more rational, i.e: now, at a piece of mind, i would have reacted better.. I hereby want to take this opportunity to thank every single one of you who's there. P V KB ER just to mention a few. Alot others but i would have repeat alphabets appearing and u guys might not even know its you. But as long you've helped, i thank you from the bottom of my heart.
And for others who's struggling coping with the loss of someone, be it a r/s of 10 day or 10years, i solely believe in this.. if someone's meant for you, its yours.. I'm 25 now.. Even if i'm 30, and i'm still single, i would still have confidence in myself no matter what. One should not freak out.. Be it a lady or a men.. So what if you have degenerated and given your entire life to a guy? How many of us thought this is The One and end up seeing him/her landing on someone else's bed? Too many to list if all of us bring this onto the agenda i'm sure.. Don't freak out, as long as your confidence is there, moderate your emotional being and you'll be fine. I'm sure everyone will queue for you, at least The One would be there searching for you.
Sometimes i don't understand why peeps just simply wanna play politics @ work as well as @ leisure avenues such as a.. forum.. I suppose no matter which downsides you belong to in the above categories (u might not be), end of the day i would not hesitate but say your life is full of shit (unfortunately), and u are leading a miserable life with no one to depend on, count on, no friends, all acquaintances. Do correct me if i'm wrong though..
Guess that's all.. Nike run commences on sat morning, after which i'll head back for lunch and head to ktv in the evening. sunday morning dim sum at fullerton and noon/night, nothing yet.. However next sat is my pasir ris cycling + jiak jiak jiak + woowoo outing! Coincide with halloween :)
Peace out
gene.
Some guys like to immerse themselves in competition with the rest in love.. Just to jostle for position and outshine the others, abeit landing themselves in stupidity. Probably these peeps are either someone they believe they cant live without or peeps they feel is The One at that point of time..
To me, i'm not even close to that.. I relish competitions in marathons, @ work or anywhere else but not in love. Kinda erratic behaviour but here's my explanation. To me its simply ain't worth it going for someone where others are going for it. Maybe because i myself will focus my efforts on one single person first, before moving on to another when i found out this is going nowhere.. Thus i prefer that person (if she has an interest in me) to remain that way as well and focus on one person at any one time..
By doing this, no one gets hurt.. 100% of effort is channeled towards 100% from the other and even if things don't work out, you know you tried ya best.. So i cant fathom those having multiple wooers and relishing it, irregardless of gender.. Where end of the day everyone gets hurt and just one survived. And that one survived, he/she might just win the battle but not the war.. Famous quote indeed..
So why would peeps still do it? Some peeps like fame, some loves attention, some just love to be surrounded by the opposite sex to boost their ego. I'm confident in the way i offer in a relationship and i'm confident things will work out fine. But i'm not there to give you 80% of my effort to gain 20% of your time. If a relationship is not MUTUAL (i don;t mean multiple's mutual), then what for wrestle for the impossible.. Just let your woo-ers have fun and i'll sit on the fence..
I rather they got together with the girl i always love to be with, and break up later thinking that's the wrong move.. Of course by then everything might change, stuffs might remain the same, who knows?
Bottom line, i don't relish this kinda thingy. If u are confident in yourself, why submerged yourself under water where the view is clearer out of the water.
Peace out
gene.
ECP stingray n stuffs . super nice. pics is an understatement. nvr bring f200exr cos cycling :(
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By far the best chicken rice i ate :0 with all the side dish below. $80 overall for family of 4..jpg)
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Last week, someone was texting me etc and i thought since bday is approaching, i asked if a celebration is needed.. Ok so fine, monday which is today was planned for it. Lets just say it was cancelled again and reading the 'reason' just made it worse. Though it was within my expectations that things will land up like this again, with the last time being claimed 'msg wasn't received' , i decided to keep e smses this time round... When it was off, i simply smsed her e history thru an iphone screenshot and there wasn't a reply immediate after almost an immediate reply every sms prior to that :)
To me its very simple, if you don't wish to hang out with someone, pls just say no.. If you find it difficult to reject, just say we ain't suitable or shits like that.. We go out as a grp.. 'Don't worry we're just friends' nowadays seemed to be the perfect hint. So i ain't got any idea why would ppl block others schedules just to cancel it in the last minute for another.. be it or not the claim is relevant and true.. I ain't gonna care less but to me it reflects alot on a person's character..
I for sure ain't one who will bow down to someone who looked like ayumi, nah i was never that sort. Yes i will glance at you for a couple of times but if you believe u are ayumi, then pls stay that way and attract your right target audience! 20 yrs down the road i will become kukumi and u will become kukumo as well, so doesn't really matter..
Lunch time reflections.. reflections..
Camping trip.. Went with friends and got one secret admirer from school.. Can't recall who is who Now but it'd a work trip.. Go here go there.. There we get to visit another company there.. So we reach there and Met emp there.. Everyone start falling sick.. I happen to meet one guy call Benedict is his name in the nightmare.. Ppl was saying how successful he is, no probs one and peeps who went against him all ended up badly 'killed' politically.. So I was coincidentally intro-ed to him. First time I visited his house it wad a grp visit.. His house felt eerie ma chiam got eyes looking at u.. Then I went off and one of my friends got sick. All e while I was sitting with e girl I like... After that we continue our holiday..
Next day I met this Benedict out shopping and he wanna offer me a ride. So I took his car and he asked alot more bout me.. When i alighted I join other peeps. Realised my cam was left in his car when I met my other friends. There they told me not to get near him simply because he play gong Tao one and he pray just to get his stuffs going. So I need to retrieve my cam, asked a friend to fetch me there.. On e way benedict SMS her asking where is she heading to. I told her see he knows.. So told her drop me at e carpark I walk myself..
When I reached, i knock on e door and he open. Asked if found my bag inside got cam not. He told his daughter take for me in one room.. Daughter go find and was picking alot other things den one bone hand drop down from shelf.. Then I was shocked and then e daughter found and gave it to me. Colleagues was saying e pics inside might be used as his weapon as and when he needs..
Then I went outside and speak to his wife who's a great host.. She said not to ve afraid and they meddle with stuffs. One other colleague arrived cos he was afraid about me being harmed.. Then I asked e wife to show me what she meant. She say sky must go dark first.. Sky dark Liao den she say ok now start.. She open this white board that was covered up one.. There got two pics that was simply scary and I could remember even till now. They film themselves sleeping. In on pic both sleeping but something hovers above them. Another wad ultimate.. Wife sleeping. Benedict at e side kneel on e bed straight and looks to be talking to air.. Then by then I was totally scared Liao..
Then suddenly Benedict came from behind and say need to star Liao. Me and friend cab watch if we don't believe. He go to his room and say to us, I need to pray. If I don't pray they won't serve me well. If I found them good I will pray..
Then e house become very smoky e wife assure us us like that one. Me and friend make a leave as we were afraid. Hand in hand we walk out.. Even the corridor is dimly lighted..
I went to e lift press, go in with friend and everything was over...
Rejoined back at e tour bus and went straight to find my crush.. I din see her.. Asked her best friend. She said she was sick and went to e hospital straight..
I called her she said she was fine. took out my camera next to take done pics, when I click history one pic shock e he'll out of me. She was kneeling up on e bed, hospital bed, looking at someone and appear to be talking.
SMS came. Benedict said, sorry I have to do it. She was checking on my finances..
Woke up
走在熙来嚷往的街 你不在牵着我的手
小心翼翼的将你的小指勾 泪也小心翼翼的流
有些事情你还瞒着我 你终于还是开了口
淡淡一句还是朋友 撕列的心尤如刀割
知道分手后你不难过你比从前快乐
那祝福的话叫我如何说得出口
过往的快乐是否褪色想问你怎么舍得
不要在耳边说你还会想我
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Sat was fun filled with lotsa of peeps coming in to contribute this wonderful day... Went to collect the nike run race pack together with realrun race pack in the morning.. realrun got absolutely nth, bought the bus tix =/ that's about it. shirt and bag and medal to be collected after the run.. 16km only also wanna make it comparable to 42km finishing tees zzz. the worst issue is to bring another bag to contain that bag :mad:
met up with D, KB and SH to collect our nike run racepack! SHB was late though but its fine.. Both KB and me wait and made our way there to find D. Realised the tee was too big but nvm i think its still wearable.. collected our stuffs, went to jiak popeye, shared with SH hah! returning the 4 bucks nxt week during nike run :s34:
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rushed home, got trapped in e jam zzz. and went straight off after eating, to ECP. was about to be late, so rushed a cab down and realised only 3/13 meeting us at bedok. bravo lol. so found ad and and hr.. met both of them while waiting for ph.. once all of us came, we made our trip to the food ctr...
upon reaching the food ctr all of them came, ph ate chicky rice while hr ate bah kut teh. kb end up stranded at mac and appletea was so late that we have to search for him halfway into our cycling :( but nonetheless,we cycled and cycled and i was happy with the overall experience today till...
our 2 buggers saw an ang moh sprint pass us the second time and decided to give chase. with 15mins left on the clock to return our bikes, there was a clash and injuries ensued. blood was shed but it was purely an accident due to a slight click of the handles to cause the unbalancing effect.. sigh. the case i don't wish to see..
anyway we sprinted our way back after the time was taken nursing injuries and stopped to make sure everyone is fine.. and i almost have had an accident myself with a female hah. going upslope at fast speeds, 2 bladers were blocking. this female cyclist was driving down in the opposite lane where its already so tight. din even see me.. i tried to skilled my way near to the bladers.. end up still cant avoid contact. my handle hit her but made she sure was fine.. she kept apologising. i said its ok no injuries and made sure she and the female blader is fine. for a moment i realised i was jammed in between 2 babes... ok 10 seconds at least..
went back, jiak stingray.. the prawn egg came in ao egg.. :madd: poor v have to finish the ao for me. love u dip dip :s and after everyone have had their dinner..
we walk walk walk to this no signboard restaurant and sit in a circle, talk cock, talk ghost stories while feeling e breeze smack onto us accompanied by the smashing of the waves to the breakwater time and time again till hide tide ensues..
it was a wonderful experience , wonderful sight. thanks for all 15 of u who made it a success. thanks for coming to my outing.. take care and enjoy ya sun.
gene.
Anyone could teach me freestyle and rollerblading? :p hehe if there is i will be eternally grateful! :p wanna learn this but shy ar.. esp swimming =/ my figure ain't e best hahaha.
dinner coming soon! eat liao go run :) den rest a while and prepare for tgif + mtg + lessons :(
Felt like eating steamboat suddenly. Maybe shall drag my friend to pei me eat at golden mile/balestier heehee.
School days are tough! Finally sat down and write a pointer or two about life. Monday is quite all right.. Went back home and slack after work.. Tues and Wed school as usual...
Was with MY during isorg class.. AVL was behind us! Din sat with us though her.. Wanted to ask but she went to toilet fast fast then fast fast go back in liao, probably she's shy nvm. During MSM ask her to sit with us for isorg..
Wed was my usual LBO class with 5 other babes as usual.. As usual i got my answers wrong again for LBO. It seemed like this is gonna be a challenging paper for me LOL. Cant seemed to visualise why some cases are considered sue-able while some ain't! But the babes does help out a little in conceptualizing issues at hand :p
Today is thurs! Gonna set out for my usual run later! Followed by fri sch after work, sat ecp outing and sunday movie outing! Hopefully things goes according to plan as i step out of the wilderness :)
Still thinking bout her once in a while but it has been degraded into a friendship level and i hope her smile in the neo picture with her bf carries her till the end of time.
:)
It was enjoyable though, lots of sweat is sacrificed in exchange for the satisfaction i see in the end! my thighs are harddddd and gonna remain that way man! I gonna take up swimming soon, and wanted to learn both freestyle and blading.. roller blading. I could join the quadthlon men open next yr if i managed to do both. Buy a racer and i'l good to go!
Ate sambal sotong + rice + lian ou soup after that. Heavenly!
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I saw something that made me felt so touched and happy for a friend.. They looked so sweet together and her bf was totally .. mesmerising. Not that i like him, but wow he wore a white tee with a black coat while taking neoprints with her! I was impressed and i thought i lost out to a valuable competitor after that.. Of course the down side is i don't think i am good looking anymore hahaha. But well, ain't gonna matter. There's something i can do which he cant, i can run a marathon ! haw haw!
It was very sweet to be honest when i see his arms around her waist and smiling at the screens. Heavenly.. Now my plan seemed a lil bit awkward to continue doing.. Sometimes i have to look at things this way to have that kind of impact towards me..
After that, i have did stuffs which i never even thought bout doing it. But i'm glad i did.. I gain lotsa payoffs from it and hopefully its just the beginning of a longgggg journey ahead full of surprises and happiness for them..
Its 10pm now! 1 more hour to my standard sleeping time if there's no much peeps available to chat.. Heh. Good nites everyone. Sleep well :)
peace
gene.
Its been several mths and being the event organiser be it individual outing or mixed, its kinda difficult to find peeps schedules being booked a week in advance for every week for the past 2 months. How ridiculous can this get?
And when they ask u 'why angry issit?' or 'no la i'm not placing ya stuffs as the lowest' priority and your reply is simply 'i'm used to it after several mths hah' and guess what? They shoot u straight in the face with 'whatever' 'nvm' kinda stupid answers. Wa like i owe them a living like that. Reflect on yourself for a moment, what wrong have i did? lol. If ain't interested just say not interested lor den i wun bother u again liao. Its just frustrating everytime i try to organise some forum or class outing, there's bound to be these peeps around.. Super busy 1.. Ma chiam like some chairman of companies..
And yes its extremly disappointing and straight away make you rethink hard on what exactly peeps are looking for in life and how being accomodating at times can land u into shit as usual.
Ok done with the ranting. Felt better. Time for a run to sweat it out. THurs run again, sat collect race pack and run. sun run. Lets do it and clock 40km every week!
Till date.. I would say i dislike peeps pasting my chat logs to others.. I always find it better to let me know if you're gonna do that. Yes i know that defeats the purpose but least its more of a 'short pain better than long pain' thingy. For eg: if i happen to quarrel with A, and i paste A's chat to confident B. When things got on the way i'll let A know what i did, and i apologised and letting him/her know the reason why. I believe those who knew me and have several tiffs, would have knew that..
IMO, tiffs in friendships or even when u're date allows u to understand each other more, allows you to see through whats happening and whats not. Lets just take friends for example, i'm very sure you would have several tiffs/fights (not physically :P) with ya best friends.. Would you? If there issitn't, probably you're really lucky and perhaps both of you understand each other very very well.
IMO, friends help each other to grow and probably understand each other better from another point of view, aka outside-the-box syndrome. You're able to see clearer outside the box than being trapped in the vicinity which your capabilities are limited. But does your best friend / soul mate do that?
I once have had a soul mate, which i thought is the best i ever have had.. Unfortunately, its only today that i realized so much so much so much stuffs that i wished she would say that herself. But unfortunately she din, and it has to be broadcast by another source. How disappointing. And the reason i got made my blood boil. Because i would flare up anytime. In the entire course of friendship we shared, other than the first couple of instances we have had difficulties understanding each other, i thought we did great. And yes i said 'thought'. Its not confirmed and the confirmation i knew wasn't at all similar to what i initially thought to be. And yes i'm fairly frustrated that peeps could relate to anybody else except to the one they really care (ok maybe i thought they cared as well).
And now i'm beginning to doubt what i actually see/hear in the past and i could not decipher what's right and whats wrong. Whats valid and true, whats invalid and fabrication of the truth. I got no idea the reasons or motive behind it.
I have always try my best to help peeps if they wish to, by offering opinions. End of the day they are the ones who benefit, not me, and if they treat it as rubbish, just be allergic to it and move on with your current life. Sometimes it can be quite frustrating when you realised, the whole world knows you were an ex-criminal and the one and only you have in your heart, doesn't. Will it backfire?
Then brings the topic to smses.. Yes in this century now, text messages is becoming a far creative trend in terms of messaging. Peeps could ask each other for lunches, for dinners, for outings etc etc. Some peeps even got to know each other thru a simple msg. Some got attached thru a msg! And can u believe breakups can form in a msg as well? The next thing you knew it, 'will u marry me' will come in the form of text messages..
I have had a separation with my soul mate recently, in a text message form. She was saying how well her bf is bah bah bah but nvm that's not the point. The point is, it came in the form of a text message :) It is frustrating to hear some rather erm.. unrealistic reasons (i'm trying hard to find the right words) that made her decide to do that. Unable to even face me and say 'ok i am dumping u off cos i got bf liao, byebye'. To me if u have the ability to promote a person, u would tell the fellow in the face 'congrats'. If you're a successful manager, try messaging your colleague 'paiseh ar, u are sacked. no nid to come work tmr'. You think that'll work? Or will the immense frustration build inside him/her to harbour a plan for the future? What do you think?
I hate peeps with false pretenses and i hate it when peeps say one thing and do another and i hate it when i heard unfalse accusations with the combination from the above. But its perfectly fine, least i would know why peeps does this or should i say, i would conceptualize why peeps bother to be so political, in the form of text messages.. Like how i joke in outings, someday the outings i organize, you might start seeing peeps bringing laptop just to IM each other.. in reality.
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Okay ranting post done.. But don't worry i'm not what i'm feeling which is, frustration as you read the above.. In fact i'm not.
Anyway i know you're looking at this.. I know i still miss you but apparently i would end up hurting myself only doing so as part of the plan i created and i also know its impossible that anything beyond friends could happen now. And yes maybe not even friends. You have lied time and time again and i always told you i hate liars.. Its just surprising how am i able to contain all these up till now, you must be someone very special, at least to me. I'm totally oblivious from me to you though.
You have a bf, and i give you your blessings. You wanted me to dump this half yr soul mate r/s, yes i will do that as well. You have block me on everywhere as well val_ed. Not sure why is there a need to do so if you actually still harbour anything for me, but as far as i know the real you now, probably there's so much so much i have not known thruout the 6 mths we knew each other. But at least one thing is for sure, i was wrong about how i felt you felt towards me, i thought it was mutual. i thought..
Thoughts galore.
gene.
We got off to a flying start when marcus came back after the 500m swim in the sea in the top 50%! Then go to blader and bike before i realised Yoke is coming back in, huimei helped to tag the bib strap onto my leg and off i sprint at 10+am.
The sun is killing me, i clock 13mins for the first 3km and told myself to come back before 30 mins.. Slowed down on my second lap towards the turn about. Once i turn around i decided to pick up pace under the scrotching sun.. Chiong arrrrrrrrr and i overtook at least 5-8 peeps from different groups and burst my way thru the last 100m in exactly 30mins i suppose, off my watch.. Glad to see my other team mates cheering for me at the finishing line! Just felt great as i cheered for them during the race and any other peeps who sprint past the last 100m. Was very fun!
Still owe Marcus $48 bucks for the registration, went without taking my ATM card. Just a bus card and some cash.. Thanks for organizing Marcus. Hope to join in next year as well! Just a cheapo medal for our efforts but i think its better than nothing...JPG)
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Sat morning went out playing lan! Never tried L4D before hehe, went playing with some friends and wow they're really good at it! I kept dying despite trying to use my CS accuracy to my advantage haha! But was very fun! Played counterstrike as well as some Warcraft custom games..
After which we went for dinner at cineleisure and jiak our own food and decided to catch a movie in the end.. We watched Haeundae: The Deadly Tsunami and i thought the plot and everything was excellent.. 
There's a distinct difference between the quality of this show and i love the way they filed it.. 4/5 stars for me, a prelude to 2012, poster attached below!
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Super tired lol, cant imagine me sleeping past a saturday or sunday.. It has been sometime since i last did that.. And shd i say nowadays i never imagine myself to be doing certain things which i have never had done in my life. It feels very very weird.. Doesn't help to know when someone told you sometwo has blocked you off facebook..
It certainly doesn't help but what to do, life goes on.. I will still miss several peeps in my life and that's something i cant really control.. But sometimes you wonder, do they care a hoot about u too? When you lie down on your bed, do you ever thought of someone special no matter what status they're right now? Do they care about you too? Do you ever wish to know someone more and the person just brush you off easily?
I guess sometimes life is just shaped this way and probably in a crude way, you would label that unfair, is it really unfair though? I don't know and don't have an idea within me..
While i was sprinting my last 3km back, i recall the motivation i always have every single race, every single training on my finishing straight, i always imagine/picture someone at the finishing line for that added motivation.. I couldn't do that this time, else i will complete the race in tears..
Heh Wo zhui xin fuuuuuu de shiiiiii is playing on the tv by Liang Wen Yin.. In case you guys wonder who she is, pic is below.. 
And i shall end this post, with this post of a babe :)
Have been looking forward to a new course of life.. Hoping to enlarge my circle of life.. I think its the most obvious choice where someone left you in an instance for another.. Hopefully i'll meet new peeps. Like for eg, every wed i'll be doing LBO with lynn and friends, i.e: 4 other females.. I am so.... shy hah. All of them are so vocalistic! Gosh.. But they're all friendly peeps :) And i'm glad to know some new friends. Quite hard for part timers to know friends in a uni class, esp if u're a guy. The slightest approach to a femle will spell the wrong impression almost everytime! And spelling that to a guy simply... doesn't sound right..
So lets see.. I have curry chicken for lunch with 2 plates of rice. Pretty standard.. My usual serving as the curry chicken is just way too much to pair up with a single plate of rice, least for me. :p
Finally its friday, end of a hectic week. Will be joining my friends tmr for some lan gaming tmr! Not sure how to play exactly after i left CS years ago, hope i won't be labelled a noob whahaha. Pardon me ok if i keep dying... Evening events still pending as my friend is currently sick and down.. Will hear from her again later in the day :) No matter she turns out or not, just to let you know thanks for being there all e while!
As for sunday, staying at home is the best option after my Quadthlon. Heh maybe come back, rest a while and run in the evening heh. I simply adore the new shirt! I thought its nice, anything from adidas is!
To those heading out to have fun, have fun! stay safe and have lotsa good hard fun! :)
400m swim - marcus
20km bike - yoke
12km blade - chio bu zehzeh (tbh i got no idea who it is)
6km run - me me me me
Here are the pictures ! Will take more pics on that day itself !.JPG)
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Just the right size for the shirt! Size S! Woots yet another shirt to wear out which could be labelled 'limited edition' hehe. Lets do it on sunday! Hopefully they don't come back top 10 or smth, i have problems sprinting 6km.. More of a longer distance runner :(
Jia you!
Ever experience this weird phenom, when someone gave u a message, without receiving it initially, your heart is bumping like nobody's business. Prob its the same when you go for a blind date and outcome is unpredictable , full of uncertainties.
Uncertainties could be positive if there's a mixture of positive and negative and payoffs could be calculated based on that. But drifting into the negative domain could cause fear, nervousness and even some mental disorder in the long run!
I suppose this picture best describes how i feel now. Its taken from my iphone back then with someone i spent my time with for the last 6 mths, its taken at changi village.. With her..
Wanted to sepia it :) But cant do it now.
So which is my emotion and which is yours? Your emotion is yours to uphold and control. All the best friends :)
gene.
Had a long chat with her finally. Knew about lotsa issues.. I suppose no help is needed now.. Its obvious she believes the one for her now is him and lets stick to it with respect. All the best!
LBO lecture was ok till i was asked to answer a simple maths qn. Somehow maths being my strongest subject, failed me terribly as i got no idea wtf he's asking about, made a fool of my answer and of course, made a fool of myself.. Cant seemed to concentrate for the last half hr..
Talked to a few friends of Lynn today! Whole grp of girls gosh, was the only guy, epic shyness.. But they're a friedly bunch. Thanks!
With that i end my post.. Super tired, slept super late yesterday by my usual standards.. Tmr run starts from SGH to Telok Blangah hill path! That's my favourite route, and prob huimei's fav route as well. Hehe slopeeee time~!
Sunday is the Quad run by Safra.. I'll be taking the anchor 6km sprint. Hopefully i'll do my best for the team.
gene.
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Went to school after work.. As usual squeeze with everyone on the bus and i was lucky to find a seat! This time i ain't sleeping and i just post away on hwz :s22: in PMs and replying SMSes and posting as usual..
Reached school, went to hab yu pian tang... Usual dish ba, but different auntie today, and it taste considerably better :o
Lessons were boring like hell but we were released at 9.30pm sharp! I asked if he missed out front few pages and he specifically said he purposely skip this due to non examination purposes.. Ok, so all of us made our way back..
Trot up no. 74 to make a change, realised that my card wasn't on auto top up yet :mad: Applied but not initialised yet. So no choice, go up 1 dollar.. Then reach the other side suppose to change bus 1, go down e bus and took cab back.. It was pure bad luck! :(
But good thing is in the cab there's this song , epic old song from Power Station call 背叛情歌！I was practically singing as well. Just to SIC u guys here :o
I got no idea why she's talking to everyone except me.. Does that make her feel better? Perhaps it does.. I'll still offer myself as and when she needs...
gene.
I see us down the road for many years to come, hopefully et3rnity.. I hope you have a tinge of these, at least.. a tinge..
gene.
歌手：康康 , 專輯：灰色調專輯
作詞：康晉榮 作曲：康晉榮 編曲：康晉榮
半夜醒來的時候 妳離他遠走
四方屋裡 只剩孤寂电話聲响起
妳在那裡 訴說委曲 關於他和妳
我在這裡 一如往昔 說什麼都沒意義
我和妳和他之間的故事 該怎麼解釋
我愛妳 妳却愛他 他又愛著誰
我和妳和他之間的故事 該怎麼結束
我痛苦 妳清楚 他比我幸福 比我幸福
妳愛上一個不愛妳的他 該不該等待
我愛上一個不愛我的妳 算不算悲哀
康康-你我他
半夜醒來的時候 妳離他遠走
四方屋裡 只剩孤寂电話聲响起
妳在那裡 訴說委曲 關於他和妳
我在這裡 一如往昔 說什麼都沒意義
我和妳和他之間的故事 該怎麼解釋
我愛妳 妳却愛他 他又愛著誰
我和妳和他之間的故事 該怎麼結束
我痛苦 妳清楚 他比我幸福 比我幸福
妳愛上一個不愛妳的他 該不該等待
我愛上一個不愛我的妳 算不算悲哀
歌手：康康 , 專輯：灰色調專輯
作詞：康晉榮 作曲：康晉榮 口白：楊巧寧
口白：楊巧寧
(在你眼裡我只是個小孩子)
(我不管做什麼你都不滿意)
(我知道你都不滿意我只是努力)
(我只是努力想要讓你高興)
(可是你都不開心我不管做什麼)
(你都不開心)
(我真的很愛很愛你啊)
這次妳真的要離開了妳決定這樣放手
放在心裡的一些回憶妳說妳不再提起
我們的愛無法繼續有人慢慢的將我代替
代替我給妳幸福快樂我捨不得又能如何
我們的愛走到谷底沒關係我會好好的
我會徹底的選擇逃避忘記妳談何容易
我和妳還是站在原地我聽見哭泣的妳
我已經盡了最大努力妳說妳不再考慮
我們的愛無法繼續有人慢慢的將我代替
代替我給妳幸福快樂我捨不得又能如何
我們的愛走到谷底沒關係我會好好的
我會徹底的選擇逃避忘記妳談何容易
我們的愛走到谷底(其實我很幼稚我是很幼稚啊)
沒關係我會好好的(我只是努力努力想要長大想讓你開心而已)
我會徹底的選擇逃避(我真的很愛很愛你啊)
忘記妳談何容易
我和妳還是站在原地我聽見哭泣的妳
我已經盡了最大努力
這次妳真的離開了
康康-離開了
這次妳真的要離開了
妳決定這樣放手
放在心裡的一些回憶
妳說妳不再提起
我們的愛無法繼續
有人慢慢的將我代替
代替我給妳幸福快樂
我捨不得又能如何
我們的愛走到谷底
沒關係我會好好的
我會徹底的選擇逃避
忘記妳談何容易
我和妳還是站在原地
我聽見哭泣的妳
我已經盡了最大努力
你說你不再考慮
我們的愛無法繼續
有人慢慢的將我代替
代替我給妳幸福快樂
我捨不得又能如何
我們的愛走到谷底
沒關係我會好好的
我會徹底的選擇逃避
忘記妳談何容易
我們的愛走到谷底
沒關係我會好好的
我會徹底的選擇逃避
忘記妳談何容易
我和妳還是站在原地
我聽見哭泣的妳
我已經盡了最大努力
這次妳真的離開了
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